


Reflections

by ThisIsLitaE



Category: Law & Order: SVU
Genre: Barisi - Freeform, Episode: s17e23 Heartfelt Passages, Getting Together, Ghosts, Hurt/Comfort, Light Angst, M/M, Pining, Relationship Advice, Sweet, Wakes & Funerals
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-04
Updated: 2020-10-04
Packaged: 2021-03-08 03:35:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,646
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26808994
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ThisIsLitaE/pseuds/ThisIsLitaE
Summary: At the wake for Mike Dodds, Dominick is shocked when the dearly departed pays him a visit. The ghost teaches him an important lesson about expressing love while you still can.
Relationships: Rafael Barba/Dominick "Sonny" Carisi Jr.
Comments: 9
Kudos: 40
Collections: Barisi Creatures Bingo





	Reflections

Dominick clinked his glass with Rafael’s and promptly downed the vodka shot. A smile came to his face as he watched the man in front of him do the same. He couldn’t help but look at Rafael, whom he had admired for so long. The handsome ADA hadn’t look so relaxed in a long time. Fuelled by an alcoholic buzz, Dominick reached out and ran a hand down Rafael’s arm. The business shirt gave way to bare arm where Rafael had rolled up his sleeves. On feeling the skin at his fingertips, all Dominick wanted to do was lean in and kiss the lips he’d fantasised about for months.

“What are you doing, Carisi?”

The question snapped the detective back to reality. Only then did Dominick realise that he had grabbed Rafael’s hand in the middle of the crowded bar. He dropped it quickly, as though it burned him. Stunned by his unexplained behaviour, Dominick muttered an apology and made his escape towards the bathroom.

Along the way he passed several of his cop colleagues. He caught snippets of their conversations. Some were telling their favourite Mike Dodds anecdotes; others were expressing sorrow for Mike’s family and fiancée. Dominick felt his cheeks burning with shame at each overheard word. It was the wake for one of the bravest men he ever knew and all he could think about was making out with the ADA.

As he stormed into the bathroom and went about his business, he mentally berated himself for being so selfish. At the sink, Dominick took the time to wash his hands hard and thorough. It was a habit he’d picked up with his Catholic upbringing, to help wash away shame. Once he could look in the mirror, the sin was cleansed.

Though this time, upon turning to his reflection, Dominick met the stern eyes of Mike Dodds. He cried out in surprise, nearly tripping over as he jolted back from the sink. The detective wanted to run but he continued staring in shock at the mirror. In attempt to ease his rapid breathing, Dominick tried to think of a logical explanation. Given it was Mike Dodds’s funeral, it was only natural the sergeant was on his mind. He deduced that the memorial photo, combined with alcohol, had triggered a temporary hallucination.

Dominick squeezed his eyes shut, whispering a prayer. He opened them back up, hoping the mirage was gone. Mike Dodds continued to stare back at him from the mirror, holding up a hand to indicate he meant no harm. Despite the gesture, looking into the face of a dead man still rattled Dominick to the core. Had he not emptied his bladder minutes before, he likely would have peed himself.

The ghost in the mirror finally spoke. “Relax, Carisi. You know I won’t hurt you.”

Dominick could feel that Mike’s words were truth, though his heart continued to race. “I guess I don’t have much experience with…whatever this is.”

“Ghosts?” Mike sniffed out a friendly laugh. “Since it’s my day, of sorts, I figured I’d stick around and see what people were saying. Though I do wish Dad hadn’t told that story from my beat cop days.”

“That was a pretty funny story.” Dominick managed a small smile and felt a little calmer. He took in the sight before him, still trying to believe it was possible. “It’s weird without you around, you know.”

“As you can see, I’m not quite gone yet,” Mike replied, jokingly.

Dominick thought it best to let his friend and colleague go on his way. “I guess you’ll be wanting to see your fiancée and family.”

“Who do you think I’ve been watching over non-stop?” Mike asked. “There is a reason I came to see you, Carisi.”

Dominick swallowed a nervous lump in his throat. He was curious to know what the ghost of Mike Dodds could possibly need from him. Whatever it was, the detective was prepared to fulfil the wishes of the sergeant he respected. Staring at the man in the mirror, he listened intently for instructions.

“If I had the chance to hold Alice in my arms again, to tell her I love her, I would take it,” Mike explained, his face flickering to sadness for a brief moment.

Dominick nodded in understanding. “I can give her that message for you, if you want.”

Mike shook his head. “My point is that you’re alive. You have the chance to tell the person you love how you feel.”

“Well, I’m single right now. But when I find someone, I’ll be sure to appreciate every second I have with them,” Dominick promised with earnestness. As he spoke, he thought about Mike having to leave the person he loved the most. It was hard to imagine that kind of pain.

“We’ve all seen the way you look at Rafael,” Mike told him as a matter of fact. “You haven’t said it out loud, but your actions say that you love him.”

Dominick chuckled, shaking his head in denial. It was a pointless gesture, as Dodds had always been a keen observer of people. The sergeant had his new team pegged within hours of joining SVU. Yet Dominick still felt the need to hide his feelings for Rafael, to avoid the workplace becoming awkward.

“Tell him how you feel, before it’s too late.”

At hearing Mike’s words, Dominick began to panic. He gripped the sink and leaned towards the mirror. “Wait, do you know something? Are those people going to hurt him? Please, tell me Rafael is going to be okay.”

Mike cut in, apologetically. “I didn’t mean it that way. I have no idea how much time either of you have left. But your outburst did serve in proving my point.”

Dominick held his chest in relief. He took a minute to calm down before replying. “You’re right,” he confessed to the ghost. “But we work together. I don’t want to complicate things to the point where he can’t even be in the same room as me.”

“I’ve seen the way Barba looks at you, too. I wouldn’t tell you to go for it otherwise,” Mike advised with a knowing smile. “Besides, it can’t be any more complicated than wondering what may be if you just took the risk. Don’t waste the time you have, Carisi.”

“Thanks, Mike.” Tears of gratitude and mourning began to well up in Dominick’s eyes. He went to touch Mike’s arm, feeling only the cool glass of the mirror. “You know, I don’t know if any of this is real, but I miss you.”

“Then how about you take the advice of the bravest cop you ever worked with.”

Dominick was about to respond when, all of a sudden, the bathroom door opened. He spun towards the source of the interruption, eyes wide with surprise. A concerned and confused Rafael stared back at him. Dominick looked to the mirror, attempting to explain the situation to Rafael, but only saw his own reflection. The ghost of Mike Dodds had disappeared.

“Is everything okay?” Rafael asked as he walked over to the sinks.

Dominick nodded, still trying to hold back the tears. “It’s a lot to take in.”

“They’ve hooked up a karaoke machine. Apparently Dodds loved belting out tunes,” Rafael explained with a roll of his eyes. “How about I get you another drink while your colleagues butcher some classic rock.”

Dominick turned to Rafael and wrapped the ADA in a hug. He felt comforted when a pair of arms embraced him in return. The detective loved the warmth of the soft body against him. He gripped the back of Rafael’s business shirt with a need to keep the other man close. Soothing circles were being rubbed into his back. Dominick savoured the hug for as long as he could.

“Sorry about that,” he said as he sheepishly pulled back. “I’ll let you pee.”

Rafael rubbed up and down Dominick’s arm. “Actually, I came in here to check on you.”

Dominick was touched by the gesture. Mike’s words repeated in his mind and he decided it was time to swallow his fear. He reached up a hand, cupping the side of Rafael’s face and running a thumb across the cheek. Dominick looked deep into Rafael’s wide green eyes, searching for an answer to the unspoken question. Rafael inched closer, his lips parting ever so slightly.

The detective desperately pushed his lips against Rafael’s. A soft mewl escaped him when the ADA began kissing him back. He tried to take his time but he’d waited too long. Over and over he tasted Rafael’s surprisingly soft lips, teasing them with his tongue. The two men wound their arms around each other once more and mouths opened to deepen the kiss. Dominick savoured the feel of Rafael’s tongue against his own, wanting the passionate moment to last forever.

Rafael let out a pleasured breath as they parted for air. “How about we get out of here. We could get some food and talk. Just the two of us…and my security detail.”

Dominick pressed his forehead to Rafael’s, unable to stop smiling. He wanted to agree more than anything. After everything that happened, time alone with Rafael sounded ideal. But guilt at feeling so happy made him hesitate. It seemed disrespectful to Dodds to skip out on his wake.

“It’s okay if you want to stay. I know Dodds meant a lot to you.” Rafael gave Dominick’s hand a squeeze to cement his point.

Dominick glanced again at the mirror where Mike had spoken to him. He thought about the advice that was given and knew what he had to do. The best way to honour his departed friend’s memory was to spend time with the person he loved, for however long they had together.

Giving Rafael’s hand a squeeze back, Dominick responded, “Let’s go.”

**Author's Note:**

> *Barisi Creatures Bingo - GHOST  
> *This idea came to me randomly this morning and I had to write it immediately  
> *Given that Dodds spotted Finn shifting work to others, I imagined him noticing Barisi pining for each other.  
> *Not sure if I'll actually go for bingo or just grab random squares if/when inspiration comes  
> *Kudos and comments are always appreciated, should you choose to leave them


End file.
